just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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