You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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