white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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