it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
that may or may not have been my penis.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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