So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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