me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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