I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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