Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  Well... I doubt that.

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  (859): I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them. (1-859): Well... I doubt that. http://tfl.nu/5uw1
  Replies (25) Good night (1475) Bad night (805)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work

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  (214): I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work http://tfl.nu/fhj1
  Replies (47) Good night (786) Bad night (3466)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.

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  (623): Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again. http://tfl.nu/wv7w
  Replies (23) Good night (787) Bad night (3834)
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  (805): View more from California

  they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate

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  (805): they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate http://tfl.nu/r0av
  Replies (22) Good night (9129) Bad night (1423)
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  (909): View more from California

  and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.

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  (909): and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore. http://tfl.nu/590e
  Replies (23) Good night (6204) Bad night (1527)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.

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  (203): Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more. http://tfl.nu/bcah
  Replies (31) Good night (5556) Bad night (1232)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...

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  (785): She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before... http://tfl.nu/n0in
  Replies (4) Good night (3459) Bad night (896)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning

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  (215): he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning http://tfl.nu/kfu4
  Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (2598)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher

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  (516): i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher http://tfl.nu/pmh4
  Replies (5) Good night (2390) Bad night (1048)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.

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  (214): I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities. http://tfl.nu/q7gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1616) Bad night (789)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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  (775): I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing http://tfl.nu/nqjl
  Replies (6) Good night (1080) Bad night (516)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale

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  (978): It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale http://tfl.nu/xdvd
  Replies (8) Good night (1892) Bad night (423)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome

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  (814): Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome http://tfl.nu/l5b3
  Replies (1) Good night (680) Bad night (315)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Haha, Tuesday man

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  (306): No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle (1-306): Haha, Tuesday man http://tfl.nu/ksku
  Replies (2) Good night (544) Bad night (237)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick

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  (571): We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick http://tfl.nu/pb28
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (188)

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