He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
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