Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

And why did you do that?

(857): View more from Massachusetts

Tequila

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(857): So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose. (617): And why did you do that? (857): Tequila http://tfl.nu/gjpj

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.

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(604): I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/rlh2

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.

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(405): i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me. http://tfl.nu/gnbi

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(586): View more from Michigan

i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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(586): i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?" http://tfl.nu/o8h0

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(919): View more from North Carolina

yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market

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(919): yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market http://tfl.nu/5w22

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(248): View more from Michigan

your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

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(248): your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood. http://tfl.nu/qlw2

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days

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(412): Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days http://tfl.nu/6wcx

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(789): View more from

You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down

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(789): You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down http://tfl.nu/6vfu

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(240): View more from Maryland

Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day

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(240): Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day http://tfl.nu/21po

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(517): View more from Michigan

all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.

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(517): all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings. http://tfl.nu/fkoc

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(614): View more from Ohio

We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg

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(614): We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg http://tfl.nu/vi48

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(317): View more from Indiana

You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.

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(317): You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk. http://tfl.nu/qv2s

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(210): View more from Texas

Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!

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(210): Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!! http://tfl.nu/6efz

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(512): View more from Texas

I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.

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(512): I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds. http://tfl.nu/soup

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year

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(954): I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year http://tfl.nu/gvu4

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