How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.