Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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