no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It was like giving head to a cactus.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit