my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate