i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
