if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
