last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
