It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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