I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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