im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize