I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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