I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
