Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
