HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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