I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
