I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
