Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think i peed on brittanys purse
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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