we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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