New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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