why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
