Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
