But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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