great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
