Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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