I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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