Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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