I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
