WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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