Porn is love you can see.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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