I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
