i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
