dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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