Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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