I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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