You're my little dorito
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
