Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Randomize
