The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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