Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
