we have officially lost it.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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