I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
