He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
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My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
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Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize