Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
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I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
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I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Text me some of your sweat