it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
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Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.