One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Good thing I've started drinking again