If that was your dad, he is hot
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots