he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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