What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I didn't notice because vodka
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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