I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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