If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
