They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
