Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
