You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
