I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you had me at cake vodka
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
