OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
