i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
